When we feel loved for who we are, and not what we do or what we have or what we look like, it changes us inside. When someone loves us deeply and we feel it inside, it changes our whole world! We gain a self-security that changes us forever. We stand taller, we talk more confidently, we walk straighter—we are loved!
Personally, that has come to me mostly through my parents, siblings, friends, and yes, you my fellow parishioners. It has been demonstrated through simple and yet powerful gestures of love that change me little by little for the better. I believe wholeheartedly that this is the purpose of our life as disciples—to change little by little through loving one another. This is how God’s love comes to us, mostly through love for each other and on special moments we feel it directly in our hearts clearly and it totally changes us.
For me I have been blessed to have parents who loved me and witnessed that love over and over again but not perfectly. The reflection of God’s mercy, that approximation of God’s eternal love albeit imperfect was enough for me to feel God’s love deep within my heart and it changed me and still does each day.
Those moments remain inflection points on which I reflect upon often because they enable me to pass on that love to others albeit imperfectly too. One occasion that stands out particularly strongly is when the father of my best friend, Jim (who had just been killed in a plane crash in Florida on a pilot training course) came by to visit me at my home. It was just 3 days since his son and my friend had died and we were all reeling from the shock and pain of his death. Mr. Byrne was devastated beyond reckoning and went into an alcoholic drinking binge with no end in sight. He had not stopped drinking since the news. He was inconsolable!
My father answered the door and invited Mr. Byrne into the living room and went to get me. When I arrived in the room, my father and Mr. Byrne were in conversation. My father had offered his condolences and said he could only imagine how he felt and he was sorry for his loss. That he would keep him in his prayers. But Mr. Byrne was a wounded man and had little time for God at that moment.
He shouted back, “What sort of God, takes a 24-year-old young man out of his prime! Why would God take my only boy? Why?” My father didn’t answer the unanswerable question but assured him that Jim is not with God now, and God is with you in your suffering and he was sorry again for his loss. But Mr. Byrne was in a rage and snapped back, “Why didn’t he take one of your ten sons? You have 10 sons! Why not take your Brendan? He is only one of 12 of your children. Why not? Your God!!”
It was the pain and anger speaking through the bottle of whiskey, but it was hard for me to hear as he offered me up in death so easily. I was shocked and I did not know what to say but I had tears well up in my eyes in sadness and hurt. I loved Jim and his family and they were like a second family to me. I tried my best to console them in their loss and I was hurt to be offered up in exchange for his loss! I did not know what to do as the tears welled up in my eyes and so they just poured down my cheeks in embarrassment.
My father realizing how much those words pierced my heart and his said gently but firmly to Mr. Byrne, “I am deeply sorry for your loss of your Jim. He was a great young man and there is no argument there. But let me assure you that I love ALL my children the same way as you do. If Brendan or any of my children died, I would feel the same way as you do now. Again, I am sorry for your loss but my love for children is not divided among them in some mathematical formula, I love them ALL.” Mr. Byrne was apologetic as he saw how much he hurt me and obviously did not mean it and left my home without further words. The alcohol had done enough damage for one day!
Afterwards, my father pulled me aside and repeated what he had said to Mr. Byrne as he saw me crying. In Ireland at age 24 back in 1989, men did not cry often if at all! He said, “Brendan, Mr. Byrne is a wounded man and has fallen off the wagon. He has found bad company with alcohol, and he was not speaking out of his truth but out of his pain. Forgive him and let it go. He does not want you dead. He is just hurting. Remember, your mother and I LOVE YOU and that will never change. Your Father in heaven loves you even more than we do. Remember that no matter what happens to you or us, God LOVES YOU!” Of course, I cried even more, as I do now, as I write this!
Why do I share this deep personal story? Because the gospel reading this weekend tells us how God loves us and he wants us to love one another as he has loved us. That love should bear fruit in our love for one another. I know we often fail in our efforts to love one another especially our enemies but the effort to love is what matters more than anything—that we really try to love one another from our hearts and let go of the hurts that often separate us. Most especially within our families—LOVE one another!
This weekend we have our second graders making their First Eucharist and this is our communal way to love them albeit imperfectly. Their parents, along with the catechists, have spent endless hours teaching their children that they love them and God loves them. Now it is our turn to tell and show them that we love them.
We want them to feel loved for who they are, and not what they do or what they have or what they look like. We pray and hope that this love changes them deeply inside, that it changes their whole world! We pray they gain a new self-security that changes them forever. May they stand taller, talk more confidently, walk straighter—they are loved! So please go up to any child in First Communion outfit and their family and assure them that “God loves them just the way they are and we love them.” Make them smile with radiant love!
Talking of smiling, I encourage you to stop by the Parish Center gym to see over 1500 school student artworks on display! It is truly magnificent what these children have done at their grade level. The art show is open after Saturday 5pm Mass and after all Masses on Sunday with coffee and donuts on Sunday morning in the Simon Room. Please stop by, it is another way to show our love for the children in our community.
Next weekend, we welcome back John Angotti and his musical cast of JOB: The Now Testament. It is truly a powerful and entertaining show for all the family. It is only $20 per adult and children are free—we need you to purchase tickets here so we know how many to prepare for at intermission and to ensure everyone gets a seat in the Church. Invite your friends and neighbors, it is a great way to evangelize.
Finally, speaking of showing our love for others. Next weekend is Mother’s Day. Please reach out to your mother and bring her to Mass here at St. Simon if possible—it will make her day! We will have a meditation song for them as well as a small gift for each mother. It is our tradition to pray a Mother’s Day Novena to remember all our mothers living and deceased. Envelopes are at the doors of the church and the online form is here.
In conclusion, I want to thank you for the love you share with me, in little and large ways—you are witnessing to me every day what my father taught me about God’s love. We ARE LOVED!
God Bless,
Fr. Brendan